Landon & Jessica

well hello

2012-01-26T10:17:00.033-07:00

its been a long year away from blogging!

it took me about a year to get over the fact that blogger just deleted all my blog pictures one day. they still aren't back on and i've been told there is no way to fix it. however, it looks like i can post new pictures on here just fine now.

so i think i'm over it. i'm mean, it still really sucks, but what can i do?

i miss blogging. and i have a little more time on my hands now. why? well, lets give an update!

me: i have 6 months left of school! my last day is july 22nd. i now only have to go to class once a week for an hour and a half. it just so happens that its on friday night from 6-7:30 pm... perhaps one of the most inconvenient times to have class. but whatev. during that time we just staff cases so the time really flies. i am interning now! this means, i see clients one-on-one by myself now. i've been doing it for six months and i love it! i see clients at LDS family services and at Counseling Services of Southern Utah. i quit my office manager job at a group counseling practice and now get to see clients everyday, full time.

its seriously the best to get paid to talk to people and listen (a lot). i love learning about people's lives and the crazy crap they've been through. i see so much strength in people of all walks of life. i love being at LDSFS because we can talk about the gospel, the atonement... etc. the spirit is very strong sometimes in sessions and its very emotional. i love feeling the love that God has for each one of his children... the people that sit across from me each day. i love telling people how much their heavenly father loves them. i love helping in the small ways in which i can. its a great job!

other than work and school, my days are filled with trying to cook, cleaning, taking care of my pups, and studying.

landon: is in his last semester at Dixie. halle-freaking-lujah! his graduation is May 4th and mine is May 5th. how fun. (i know you can't wait for those pics). he was accepted into his Masters of Health care Administration program at the University of Central Florida (in Orlando). we move to Florida the last week of July. landon also got a new job at the hospital as a registrar in the ER. he likes the fast-paced environment and comes home with the craziest stories (sometimes even more crazy than mine... ha). he also looks pretty hot in scrubs. i'm not going to lie. landon also got a road bike a few months ago and is trying to train for some events coming up in the next couple of months here in southern utah.

other than that, our lives aren't too exciting. maybe i'll post some random pictures now in no particular order from the past year. that sounds fun. its good to be back.

testing.... testing...

2011-04-15T16:46:00.002-06:00

we're out

2010-12-06T15:21:00.002-07:00

well, folks. i think its official.
we're saying goodbye to bloggin.

i'm on facebook- so add me as a friend there if we aren't already.
although i'm going to miss blogging,
and i'm going to commit more time to preserving memories the old fashioned way (scrapbooking).

but as a parting gift for our time together, please enjoy THIS video.
its a scrumptious montage of our Christmas pictures we took this past weekend.
enjoy! peace out.

testing....

2010-11-08T14:40:00.003-07:00

so i can post new pics, but none of my old pics show up (still).
i have contacted several web-guys and apparently, this is a blogger server problem.
because my pics are still there, they just aren't linking to the server like they are supposed to.
so, hopefully my blog will be fixed soon. keep your fingers crossed.
two years of pics just down the tube...

i'm hoping it can be fixed or i might frustratedly say goodbye to blogging!
and go back to the basics of scrap-booking : )

the break up

2010-10-28T09:36:00.005-06:00

last night we made a swift & important decision.

no more DVR (tivo) or HD at our house.
no more friends re-runs, office, house hunters international, property virgins, Oprah,
swamp people (landon's fav), intervention, cougar town, modern family,
parenthood, America's next top model (totally guilty!)
or the occasional History channel documentary.

we broke it off with our TV.
the relationship has been a unhealthy, costly, but enjoyable one.
but it was time.

we can't technically turn off the cable because it flows from the wall without cost (free)
but, without shows recorded on the daily awaiting me from my return home from work
and without high definition
its really not tempting.
i'd be too impatient to sit through a commercial.

our TV won't be a complete waste however, we still have our blue-ray player
and we'll still watch movies on the weekends, but no TV during the week.
instead i will be reading one of the 20+ books on my amazon wish list.
i'm so excited.
and landon already returned the DVR HD box to the cable company this morning.
its a done deal. and it feels liberating!

mad blogger

2010-10-27T13:45:00.002-06:00

i'm mad. still no pictures showing up. still no answers.
a few people posted that they were having the same problem in the blogger help forum,
but no way to fix it except upload the pics again.

i feel like protesting. i have pictures to post of our camping trip last weekend
and some when my parents came last month.
but i can't muster up the will to post.

why? if they all might just disappear into thin air one day...
with no explanation.

blank

2010-10-20T15:41:00.002-06:00

well, ever since blogger did that maintenance the other day...
Poof, all my pictures no longer show up on my blog!
i have no idea why. sometimes it shows a little red x in the corner of where the pictures were. sometimes, its just blank. even my header, which is a URL from photobucket isn't showing up. all my other pictures i don't use photobucket, i upload directly from my computer.
if anyone knows how i can fix this or has any suggestions... i'd love to hear them! i posted on some google blogger forum for help... hopefully someone replies. or maybe when blogger finishes with their maintenance... (says they were going to be doing more maintenance for two hours today)
maybe they will reappear! we can hope!

surviving

2010-09-27T11:45:00.000-06:00

in my masters program, we take one class at a time. sounds easy right? well, this one class is the same material covered in a semester-long class compacted into 6- 8 weeks. not so easy.

so, i must have been insane when i decided to take 3 classes at one time. the past 2 months have been pretty brutal. there have been a few meltdowns, more than a few all-nighters

and my fair share of "why am i doing this again?" moments.

well, i'm happy to announce that 2 of those classes are now over!

and somehow, i managed to get A's in both of them.

count my lucky stars.

i'm wishing i could rewind to my childhood years when my parents paid me $ per A on my report card.

i could use that money now more than i needed it then.

but, it does make me feel good to know that i will be graduating earlier than expected due to my hard work. the class members i started this program with will graduate April 2013, but I will be done July 2012.

i am now taking classes with people that started this program 9 months ahead of me.

that makes me feel good.

i have about 9 months until i start internships... can't wait.

2010-09-23T14:17:00.000-06:00

i love this.

i've painted lots of furniture in my day, but now i want to try white washing.

how cool does that look.

see how to do it HERE.

elder & sister vallem

2010-09-22T10:34:00.005-06:00

my sister, Courtney, left today for the MTC! she was supposed to go the Brazil MTC, but she hasn't gotten her visa yet... so off to provo she went. now i have two siblings serving missions. brazil is lucky to have them. i am missing them already.
here are 2 recent pics of Josh. he's such a cook! he's made banana bread, pizza, cookies, and homemade tortillas in brazil. his companions love him. he also recently had 6 baptisms on one sunday and they we're not all from the same family. he's been out 9 months now and is now a senior companion. he's doing so great.

more good stuff

2010-09-20T12:42:00.003-06:00

Sorry, i know i post about this topic a lot, but it is one that i am passionate about. i know their are countless men, women & good couples out there struggling with this and it breaks my heart. i want to share the great information i am learning everyday with you-- so you can share it with someone you know that may be effected by pornography. this is an article written by one of the therapists i work for. enjoy.

What’s a Woman to Do?
How Pornography Affects Women and What They Can Do
by Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT
Director, LifeSTAR of St. George, Utah

It's not uncommon for well-intentioned observers to inquire about the fuss being made over pornography. Many of them assume that pornography consumption is a victimless pastime. Their line of thinking generally supports the notion that a man who views pornography in isolation is not hurting anyone. They even debate the question of whether or not this same man is hurting himself by viewing pornography.

I would like to challenge these assumptions by sharing how pornography use damages not only the individuals who view it, but especially wives and girlfriends of these same men. I will also include suggestions for how women affected by their partner’s pornography use can cope as they begin the journey toward wholeness.

In all of my years of counseling individuals and couples, I have never seen any other behavior produce a pattern of pain and misery as predictable as that which happens to an individual and his marriage when he views pornography. Let me briefly outline the pattern as I see it.

First, long before his wife discovers his pornography use (either by his own disclosure or by her catching him), he will begin to slowly change into someone who becomes more self-centered, irritable, moody, and impatient. He will spend less focused time with his family, seek out more distractions, begin to mentally and even verbally devalue his marriage, become critical of his wife's body and character, feel more spiritually empty, and experience more internal stress. He will become more dissatisfied with his work, become easily bored with things that used to interest him, and feel restless. He will also become more resentful and blaming when things don't turn out the way he hoped.

This transformation may take years, depending on how often he views pornography. If he only seeks it out every few months, he may be able to fool himself that the aforementioned challenges are situational and will pass with time. For those who view pornography more frequently, each viewing produces more disconnection from the man he could become. The repeated viewings and subsequent self-deception deepen this transformation over time.

This gradual erosion eventually creates confusion and strife in the marriage. Although each case is different, most wives who knew nothing of their husband’s secretive pornography consumption have told me they felt like something was “off” in their relationship with their husband. They usually second-guessed themselves, many of them even reflexively blaming themselves entirely for the disconnection in the marriage.

If undisclosed pornography use has the potential to produce this much confusion and pain in a marriage, one can only imagine the level of difficulty imposed on a wife when these secretive behaviors are brought to light. Shock, denial, anger, rage, depression, self-loathing, isolation, and fear are some of the words that describe what a woman experiences when she learns of her husband’s secretive sexual behaviors. Virtually every woman I’ve worked with has experienced deep shame, embarrassment, and humiliation. Consequently, partners will often suffer privately and become more disconnected and isolated from their support systems. Even if they initially react in anger, most of the pain becomes “sorrow that the eye can’t see.”

It seems that most men who admit their secretive behaviors feel a sense of relief that they don’t have to keep their behaviors secret anymore. On the other hand, their wives feel the opposite of relief, experiencing profound fear, anxiety, and confusion.

Many scholars have noted that women betrayed by their husband’s pornography use experience symptoms associated with posttraumatic stress disorder, a condition that is equated with feelings of powerlessness, intrusive thoughts and memories, and efforts to avoid the triggers associated with the traumatic stressor. Like war-torn soldiers, these women live in fear that something will remind them of the painful memories associated with the betrayal of pornography. They often become hyper-vigilant by checking computer histories, cell phones, and obsessing over details related to his pornography use.

The stress associated with discovering a husband’s pornography addiction can produce sleepless nights, food issues (both overeating and undereating), traumatic flashbacks, crying spells, and feelings of hopelessness. The physical exhaustion related to these stressors can cause a once perfectly healthy woman to begin under functioning in her various roles.

Dr. Shondell Knowlton, a marriage and family therapist in Farmington, UT, has compared the experience of learning of a husband’s secret pornography use to tipping over a cart of neatly stacked apples. She says that when the metaphorical apple cart gets dumped over, the order and predictability of one’s life gets scattered in all directions. Energy previously used for other things gets re-routed to gathering, cleaning, sorting, and re-stacking the “apples.” This process is fraught with disorder, confusion, and humiliation.

Many women believe they will automatically recover from the trauma of their husband’s pornography use when he stops looking at it. It’s easy to imagine how this would be the case. If the behavior that is causing the pain goes away, then the pain goes away, right? Yes and no.

Yes, the pain will decrease as a husband commits to ending his pornography consumption and begins to live an authentic life free from the damaging effects of this addiction. On the other hand, if women affected by their husband’s pornography use don’t consciously work to undo the effects of his behavior, they could continue to hang onto unresolved fear, resentment, anger, and grief.

Another comparison helps to clarify this point. If a pedestrian is struck by a car, the pedestrian will be moved to safety and risks associated with getting hit will likely be eliminated. However, the fear, physical pain, and emotional insecurity associated with getting struck in the first place will linger unless the pedestrian works to undo the impact of that event.

Women who discover their husband’s pornography use will benefit from doing some emotional first-aid to help stabilize them so they can set themselves up to do the long-term work of healing. I will outline some of the most helpful first steps women can take when they discover their husband’s behavior. I will then briefly explain what is involved in long-term recovery for women affected by their husband’s pornography use.

First-Aid

1. Physical self-care is probably the most overlooked aspect of early recovery for women.

Trauma is mostly experienced in the body. The body is designed to protect us from danger. If an individual experiences a serious threat to their safety (emotional or physical), their body will become tense, flooded with adrenaline, and have difficulty calming down. To ignore the body is to ignore one of the greatest resources for healing. I have found that women who make physical self-care a priority heal much faster from the impact of their husband’s secretive behaviors. Many women find that getting more sleep, eating healthy foods, exercising, meditating, stretching, soaking in warm water, and slowing down to nurture their physical body can help them shift out of survival mode so they can think clearly.

2. Spiritual grounding provides feelings of peace, hope, and reassurance in the face of so much uncertainty. Meditation, prayer, seeking comfort and counsel from words of ancient and modern prophets, and counseling with church leaders allows women access to power and strength beyond their own. Many women feel forsaken by God and alone when they’ve been betrayed by those closest to them. Spiritual healing is essential, even if it takes time. Some women find it hard to attend church and spend time with others when they feel so low and vulnerable. If this is difficult, remember that being around others can be healing even if you don’t reach out and share. Also, it can help to spend time where spiritual feelings are easier to access, such as visiting peaceful locations in nature or listening to uplifting music.

3. Emotional expression is critical throughout all stages of recovery, but especially in the early stages. Many women find it helpful to write their feelings in a new journal that they have the option of throwing away at a later date. Emotions can be so strong early in this process that some women worry about putting raw feelings in their regular journal. It’s important to have the freedom to express feelings in a healthy non-aggressive way. No feeling is inappropriate. Feelings come and go like the waves of sea, so it’s important to give them full expression and movement. Holding on to any strong emotion with the hope that it will disappear only keeps it stuck. Talking with others can also help, which is explained in the next item.

4. Connecting to others who can help is also difficult to do, but has tremendous benefits as well. It’s not recommended that a woman who learns about her husband’s behavior broadcast her pain to just anyone who will listen. Instead, it’s important to identify a few key individuals who: 1) will keep confidences, 2) can provide a safe place to talk, 3) won’t negatively judge her or her husband, and 4) can offer some support and direction. It can be beneficial for the long-term stability of the relationship for a woman to inform her husband that she will be speaking to specific individuals about her struggles. Helpful individuals often include ecclesiastical leaders, therapists, parents or siblings, 12-step support groups, therapy groups, and close friends.

5. Simplifying life is certainly a goal for most people, but this is an excellent reason to begin. This is the ideal opportunity to begin saying “no” to extra commitments, evaluating the schedule, and looking for things to cut out. Dealing with the trauma of betrayal is so physically and emotionally exhausting that everything that used to feel easy will suddenly feel impossible. It’s important to keep a simple structure in place so there is order and predictability in life. However, a frenzied pace only functions as a distraction and eventually catches up in the form of more hopelessness, feelings of failure, and powerlessness. Helping others can create a sense of purpose as well. It is better to slow down and prioritize those things that will bring the greatest peace, joy, and comfort.

6. Education is critical in the early stages of recovery. There are many good resources available to help women understand the scope of the problem. I maintain a readings list for partners available on my resources page of www.lifestarstgeorge.com. Education can help validate common feelings and clear up misconceptions about addiction and recovery.

Long-term Healing

Healing from the effects of a husband’s pornography addiction is best compared to grief, loss, and bereavement. The discovery of a partner’s secret sexual behavior can cause a woman’s life (as she knew it) to flash before her eyes. Recovering from this loss is a process of understanding the shock and anger, processing the sadness of what was lost, and moving toward acceptance of the new life. The new life may or may not include a husband who is committed to long-term recovery. Regardless of that outcome, it’s still critical for women to do the long-term work of healing from the impact of secret pornography use. Future articles will cover what long-term recovery includes and how women can continue their journey toward wholeness in the face of betrayal.

for more information see geoff's blog/website HERE.

more good stuff

2010-09-08T16:47:00.000-06:00

Dr. Donald L. Hilton speaks about Pornography and its impact on the Brain

good stuff

2010-09-08T13:57:00.002-06:00

"People who make the biggest mistakes are often the holiest." -- Mary Kassan

We've heard it said that it takes a brave person to make a mistake and keep trying. We used to get down on ourselves too much for messing up. We are learning to accept our humanness. It's not such a big deal to be imperfect.

We learn the value of mistakes when we really start to listen to other people. When we sit around and share with others, we find ourselves admiring those people who can admit when they have problems and make mistakes. They really do seem brave to us. They don't seem weak at all. If we keep listening to people being very human, we gradually start to see the light.

Today let me see that's its okay not to have all the answers.

- Hazelden

family wall

2010-09-05T15:44:00.013-06:00

it all started when my grandma papworth passed away in february. i have two pictures of her that i love. one when she was a little girl and another when she was a senior in high school. at home, my mom has these pictures displayed on the top of our piano a long with some other family favorites.

i wanted to create somewhere i could display them in my house (sadly, no piano yet). landon wanted some of his family pics displayed as well, so we thought we'd do a collage on the wall. my mom sent more pictures. when we went to florida, we spent hours digging through old pics that landon’s mom and grandma had. we came back and got some more from my grandma. we had so many pictures that we loved, soon our little collage had grown to quite a big project.

we didn't get to put all of our new treasures on the wall, but we tried to pick out our favorites. as you can see, there are quite a few. but, we love them. i love looking at the wall and remembering where we come from, the great people and stories that got us here, and how families are eternal and our greatest blessings in this life.

so, without further adieu, here is our wall.

we just free-handed this. pretty good, don't you think? started with the star and some of the larger pics, then just guessed as went went from there. it was a pretty high-anxiety project, not knowing what the end result was going to look like.

i would not recommend this wall for anyone that has ocd. it is impossible to get all the frames straight, especially at the same time. it kinda drives you nuts if you stare at it too long. there are a few that just love to go crooked on me. oh well!

best day ever

2010-08-25T21:34:00.012-06:00

say farwell to old small bed...

and say hello to big, comfy, new bed.sure it may take up our whole room... but thats what bedrooms are for, right? "sleeping". hathe best part about new bed is that it is:

A. way more comfortable than old bed. (18 inches plus pillow top will do that for ya) we're talking sink in, never get out, go to bed at 7 pm, comfort.

B. its so much bigger than old bed. i think its silly when couples say they like their small bed because they like to snuggle. like its going to push them apart to have all that extra space.

no, that's not the case.

now, all landon and i can do is talk about jumping in bed together! we love it. haha.

C. it was $300. yes, you heard me correct.
king size matress + boxspring +bed frame = $300

how? well... craigslist! now, before you get all "ewww you bought a used bed" on me...
i bought it from nice, clean normal looking "LDS" (like that matters?) people
its only a year old and retailed for $1,000
i scrubbed it just to be sure
and again, did you hear me? $300!! judge all you want.
$1,000 mattress plus $300 bed from ikea.
it was the best day and deal ever.

oh, and we sold our old bed and matress for $300. nice....

speaking of...

2010-08-25T18:59:00.046-06:00

landon and i spent a great week in florida. we wanted to travel up to north this time. we are gators fans, so naturally, we had to be sure to pass through gainesville.

running onto the field...

we then went to st. augustine and walked around old town and saw a bunch of historical stuff.

the oldest school house in america...

my favorite house

what i didn't get pictures of were the hours we spent at the outlets! almost 400 stores. another great aspect of st. augustine!

church is always fun in florida. landon loves coming "home" to his ward and seeing all the people he's known his whole life.

kissing cousins?

we also saw bronson (another cousin) and the fam. of course, there was lots of eating involved between all these great pics. whats vacation without great food?

brin-brin

landon's new family dog. SAM! he's half yorkie, half maltese, and a whole other half of energy!

we visited "our" beach in clearwater.

don't worry mom, it was an airbrush tattoo. although, i did kind of want to color it in with sharpie and make it "permanent"

then "our" temple...

brock (another cousin) came home from the mish...

overall, we truly love coming "home" to florida and didn't want to leave. we thought past departures were difficult. this time we were pratically crying.

traditional "don't want to go home" airport pic

we got home and spent a very serious 5 mins trying to figure out how we could finish school in florida and move there asap.

won't work. but, in 2 years-- we're there. or if landon's optometry school takes him somewhere different. i'll be there.

okay joking. okay maybe half.

i'm 26

2010-08-24T21:15:00.016-06:00

yes, its true. i'm 26. landon gets a kick out of throwing "ya ol' lady" in after numerous sentences throughout the day. i had a great birthday. we actually celebrated the weekend before and stayed in vegas. i already wrote about it, but i do have TWO pictures of the whole weekend. see below. classic. landon's favorite game is roulette. don't worry. i only let him play with $20. he won $100. and then we (I) resolved to never (let him) gamble ever again.

on my actual birthday we hung out with these great people. our only "friends" in the ward. (right, guys?) we went over to their house for delicious cake-- which was not nearly as delicious as another opportunity to play with their adorable little girlies.
landon thought he'd be funny with the cake. 30? really?

overall, great day. for the record, landon spoiled me with a nordstrom rack shopping spree, new swimsuit, and my favorite-- therapy books and magazine subscriptions! i may be older, but at least i'm better-dressed and smarter.

better late than never

2010-08-24T20:51:00.013-06:00

i've got to play catch-up so we can post our vacation pics.

about three or more weeks ago, we went on a little overnight camping trip. this was a big deal for me (my family never camped) and i felt really proud of myself for: A. not wearing any makeup B. for peeing in the bushes C. for only requiring an air matress.

we drove about 40 mins north to a little reservoir called sand cove. we should have drove a little more north as it didn't cool off at night quite as much as we would have liked and we had some really pesky drunk neighbors, but we had fun.

the dogs swam and ran around like crazy. until, said neighbors came with their pit bull and we had to contain our rug rats to the campsite (wish we could have said the same for their dog). after a sweaty, adventurous night, i felt i had done my summer camping duties and can look forward to our trip next year : )

i love this

2010-07-29T10:36:00.003-06:00

great thing about working for marriage therapists is you learn a lot everyday. i loved this quote by dr. john gottman from his book, "why marriages succeed or fail."

Even in strong relationships, too often people focus on the negatives in an effort to make the relationship all the better. But by dwelling on what is wrong in your marriage, it's easy to lose sight of what is right. This is a primary reason that admiration is often the first thing to go . . . [Look] through picture albums from past vacations, or reread some old love letters . . . you need to become the architect of your thoughts. It's up to you to decide what your inner script will contain. You can habitually look at what is not there in your relationship, at your disappointments, and fill your mind with thoughts of irritation, hurt, and contempt. Or you can do the opposite . . . If you can learn to think empathetically rather than negatively about what your spouse is going through, and maintain your admiration for your spouse's good qualities, you will not be plagued with overwhelming distress-maintaining thoughts that trigger defensiveness and harm your marriage . . . Make a list of your partner's positive qualities . . . Memorize this list and think about how much harder life would be without these positives. When you find yourself following a critical train of thought about your mate, use elements from the list to interrupt your thinking. Make a habit of this process and the change can be [a] dramatic . . . ‘rethinking’ [of] your marriage”.

i'm excited for this

2010-07-29T10:21:00.001-06:00

The Lower Lights // A Hymn Revival from The Lower Lights on Vimeo.

hello

2010-07-22T21:11:00.004-06:00

okay, so i have no pictures and i don't know why i'm posting, but i just can't stand to look at that post of my hair any longer. so, i'm going to muster up an update.

landon is finishing summer school this week. he is going to work full time during the break and has a fun fall semester ahead-- which includes microeconomics, social ethics, precalculus and trigonometry, and microbiology. now, that's just about enough to make me want to throw up a little in my mouth-- but i'm glad he can survive it. his spring semester is worse, but we won't go there.

the optometrist landon works for just opened another practice in colorado city. for those of you outside of utah, this is a major polygamist city. he will be working there with the doc over the break. landon is so great at getting along with any type of person that walks in the door-- i'm sure he'll do great. but, we might have some fun stories for ya.

we went to vegas last weekend to escape reality for a while. nordstrom rack will do that to you. heavens. i reiterate again-- if i had that store closer than an hour and a half away, i would be in some major financial trouble. good thing my birthday is coming up. also, don't you just love all the food choices a big city has to offer. i get so bored of the same ol places we always eat at-- again good thing i don't live there or there might be a lot more jessica to fit in my nordstrom outfits. two words-- einstein bagels.

i am enjoying school and am learning currently how to diagnosis mental illness and other disorders classified in the DSM (basically a type of psychology bible-- and as nearly intimidating as such). its been interesting to see the people around me in a new light, myself included. truly, no one is perfect and we all have our quirks. its when those things become a problem and interfere with our daily lives and functioning that things become a concern. there are so many fears, anxieties and phobias i had never even heard of before. its really fascinating. i'm also taking human sexuality right now-- which is the first class i've ever had on the subject. i must say, at first it was a little weird having a class devoted to sex, but i'm learning a lot and its such an important topic for families and marriages. so many of the world's problem stem from this one thing-- we can't afford to not discuss, teach, and provide a safe place for kids and spouses to talk about sex and communicate openly without embarrassment or shame. i could go on-- but i'll save that post for another day.

a little over two weeks until we go to florida. its funny, for the past three years we've always gone there in the winter. the prime time to go-- you leave cold utah and come back with a tan and your toe nails painted hot pink again. however, this year, we are changing it up. some say i won't last, some say i won't like it, some say i have no idea what i'm getting myself into. but, i'm not scared. i survived indonesia. i can take st. george. hey, its over 100 everyday now and i don't even mind. snow is sooo much worse. shout out to my sister lindsey who will be heading to BYU idaho soon-- land of the frozen tundra and wind that blows straight through you. you'll love it, linds!

oh and if you refer back to previous posts, you'll remember the job drama i had. well, thank goodness its over. i now work full time at the therapy office and really enjoy it. i must say, its quite a change working for bosses that actually care about your feelings, how your doing, and how work is going for you. ha! i'm thankful. i think the lord might be blessing me for all i endured at my previous job. i think i went from the most unprofessional bosses in the world to the most professional and kindest. i'm a lucky girl.

other than that, life continues as we know it. swimming is still a necessity whenever possible and the dogs still love the park. cooper loves landon's socks and they both still prefer cold water out of the bathtub faucet. their new trick is to sneak on our bed during the night. they have their own beds on the floor in our room, but they have figured out that if they jump up very quietly around 4 or 5 am in the morning, we're too dead asleep to notice. i now wake up every morning to cooper snuggled up on the left side of me and harley on the right. its so funny because its like they know not to wake me up or i'll make them get down. they just climb up, go to sleep again-- and they don't flinch until i wake up. so cute.

well, that's it. thank goodness we have a vacation coming up because this blog is in need of some spice. until then...

p.s. landon trimmed my hair in the back-- and he did a pretty good job. guess its all his hairstyling practice from cutting the dogs hair. so now its looking less mullitish and more like its an actual normal haircut. someday, it will be cute again.

well

2010-06-25T14:43:00.002-06:00

i tried to "do" my hair today.
its hard to "do" your hair when there is nothing you can "do" with it.
not long enough for a pony tail yet- bangs still too short to pull the front up-
so i tried blow drying it as nice as i could.
i don't think i'm getting anywhere fast...

tonight

2010-06-23T20:17:00.030-06:00

most nights tired after a long day of work, we eat dinner and then hit the books. but sometimes, when we're lucky we get to relax and spend time together doing nothing. this is what that usually looks like.

good stuff

2010-06-23T10:29:00.004-06:00

if you know of anyone struggling with a pornography addiction, pass along this information.
the fabulous therapist i work for, Geoff Steurer, recently put together this 6 CD set (click to buy online- $40) called "Strengthening Recovery through Strengthening Marriage" all about healing and recovery from a pornography addiction for the individual and marriage. I've listened to a lot of it already and it gives fabulous commentary and how couples can work together and regain their relationship and trust once this problem occurs.

while not a replacement for the therapy needed for this addiction and its effects on a marriage, its a wonderful supplementary tool. a must for every bishop, stake president & therapist.

because im not afriad to brag

2010-06-23T09:40:00.002-06:00

now, if i can just keep this up... 6 classes down, 15 more to go.

Completed Courses

Course	CR	Start	End	Instructor	Grade
CNSL/502 GRADUATE PORTFOLIO I	0.00	09/19/2009	10/31/2009	WESLEY CRAIG	P
CNSL/504 LIFE SPAN AND FAMILY DEVELOPMENT	3.00	11/14/2009	01/02/2010	LESLIE BUDD	A
CNSL/506 PERSONALITY THEORIES AND COUNSELING MODELS	3.00	01/09/2010	02/13/2010	MATT ESCHLER	A
CNSL/557 SOCIAL AND MULTICULTURAL FOUNDATIONS	3.00	02/20/2010	03/27/2010	WESLEY CRAIG	A-
CNSL/573 CRITICAL ANALYSIS IN RESEARCH	3.00	04/03/2010	05/08/2010	MATT ESCHLER	A
CNSL/516 LEGAL AND ETHICAL ISSUES IN COUNSELING	3.00	05/15/2010	06/19/2010	COLLEEN MOORE	A-

new addition

2010-06-22T20:06:00.005-06:00

because i know your dying to see...

crappy phone pics the night of said horrible incident

today, at work, in all its glory.

proof

2010-06-22T15:38:00.004-06:00

proof that my hair is getting longer/uglier with each passing day. my goodness, i'll be happy when it looks normal again.

cutie pie, mr. logan. (grandson of my friend, nanci). i think this is the only pic i have of myself for the past month. and now you know why.

lets see...

2010-06-21T21:32:00.004-06:00

well, its much easier to update as you go along, now looking back on the past month... I can't seem to remember anything interesting that happened.

school has been kicking my butt. recently, i had a class with a teacher who was a lot harder than my previous teachers. she expected a lot out of me and i did my best to deliver. hopefully i can keep my A streak going-- but a lot of stressful nights were spent at the expense of this class-- ethics in counseling. who knew there are so many things a therapist can get sued/get in trouble for. wow. makes me want to include everything under the sun in my consent paperwork. but as hard as it sometimes is, i am loving learning. my class i start this week is diagnosis-- and i can't wait. finally, getting to the real stuff.

landon started summer school a couple of weeks ago. we LOVE to spend our nights after a long days work snuggled up together on the couch doing homework! ha. he is taking business statistics and a integrated studies class. he changed his major to business and biology-- part of dixie's integrated major program. so, he is having fun correlating his future plans with his new biology and business degree. he is still working full-time.

we drove down to new mexico the weekend before last to visit trevor, landon's brother. his appendix ruptured and we wanted to help out. the drive was long-- made longer by landon's wrong turns... hee hee. 9 hours both ways-- but it was worth it. we enjoyed spending time with trevor in the sprawling suburb of farmington, new mexico... and were happy to see tiffany and to'ahani as well. it really stinks being so far away from all our family. good thing we have forever together, right? i took 2 pictures the whole time i was there. landon being such a good brother to trevor...
horseback riding lessons are going well. i am still "walking" with the horse. but, i am getting less nervous and trying to get a hang of letting the horse know whose boss. i have flashbacks to my runaway horse incident back at good ol' idaho, but they are becoming fewer and far between.

we got ANOTHER gun. did i tell you? well, this is the last one for a while. our .45 is expensive to shoot and gives such a kick for me that we got a 22 rifle to have fun with. (we are just getting ready to fit in with our friends in florida). we go out to the arizona strip when our life is gettin stressful and shoot stuff. we have a target we set up or we tie balloons to it. we were hitting them from 150 yards away-- so its pretty fun. i'm a better shot than landon. but, don't tell him i told you that.

on a less fun note, my work has been so stressful recently. i am loving working at the therapy office and love the people i work with. but, then the treatment center wanted me back full time... so i didn't know what i was going to do, but then they said they wanted me part-time... now, i'm waiting on the final word if i have a job at all or if they are going to go with someone else. so, its been crazy. its frustrating to feel like your doing everything right but trials come. so, hopefully i'll find out this week. i might have the opportunity to work at the therapy office full-time, but still waiting on that as well. we're just trying to have faith in the Lord and know that he knows our hearts and will bring blessings for doing what is right.

as if recently has been stressful enough-- i sprained my ankle last week. i was walking out of my job at the treatment center and tripped from a pot hole in the parking lot. my phone went flying, my purse went flying, and i skidded down the pavement. luckily, its not broken, but i've been hobbling around ever since. i took a picture on my camera phone-- but again, don't feel like hobbling down the stairs to get that either. (i know i'm killing you)

that about catches you up. overall, despite the craziness, i feel blessed to have landon. he's been very supportive (for the most part! ha) and has done his best to comfort me, take care of me, and help me forget about the stresses of life for a minute. i'm grateful for his love. i'm sure there is more events/things that i am forgetting, but i'll catch you up. eventually, don't you worry.

its me

2010-06-21T16:08:00.004-06:00

i'm still alive. barely. update to come. i finally got a moment to breathe. life has been crazy.

until then, here is the cute picture i got of my brother today. he looks like a "real" missionary now-- not a greenie anymore. i am so proud of him. love to brazil.

weekend highlights

2010-05-24T12:29:00.005-06:00

on saturday, landon and i bought a plastic swimming pool for our dogs from k-mart.
we filled it up and put it on our back patio.
we grabbed our camping chairs and got in our swimsuits.
we tanned with our feet in the pool, harley and cooper splashing all about in the water.
we felt a little white trash, but so what.
i look pictures (won't be sharing).
i know we'll look back on these days and laugh.

p.s. did i share i'm taking {western} horseback riding lessons? last week was my first lesson. we worked on stopping, starting, and turning. i felt like an idiot, but i love it. i go again tomorrow. yipee!

update

2010-05-20T09:31:00.002-06:00

i have no fun pictures to post because landon and I really haven't done anything that fun in a while. we've both been working, working, working, and there hasn't been time for much play.

oh, the lives of still being in school. its really hard sometimes, but we both try and remember what we are working towards-- great careers and the ability to have some freedom....someday!

typical day is as follows--

8 am we both go off to work

5 pm jessica gets home

6 pm landon gets home

6 pm jessica starts homework

8 pm try and play with our attention-starved doggies

9 pm talking, picking up the house, read, pray

10 pm bed

-repeat-

saturdays are equally as exciting--

7 am jessica gets up

8 am jessica's school starts

8 am landon gets up

9 am landon at work

1 pm jessica gets home from school

3 pm landon gets home from work

4 pm take our dogs somewhere before they go insane

6 pm dinner, relax and watch movies-- too tired to do anything or go anywhere

9 pm early to bed

add into the mix that a couple of days a week landon works late (until 9 or 10 pm) and i meet with my class on wednesday nights and sometimes do homework all thurs/friday night... its fun times!

sundays, have a whole new meaning now. its really the day of REST and really our only day to spend some good time together. most of which is spent napping, watching movies, talking walks with the doggies, or making the good meals that we didn't have any energy to make during the week.

there you have it, our terribly exciting, exhausting lives. now, you know why my blog is so boring...

our one fun trip this summer will probably be florida in august. other than that, we got a lot more weeks just like the one above.

FACT not fiction

2010-05-18T09:15:00.004-06:00

a perfect marriage does not exist.

i had a pretty crappy weekend. you want to know why? because i argued with my husband ALL day saturday, we didn't talk to each other ALL of sunday and most of yesterday. finally, at about 10:30 pm last night, we talked and tried to make each other feel better about the horrible, horrible weekend we had. and promised things would be different... (like many times before)

and i feel so happy to share this with you today. why?! because i want everyone out there to finally get it through their heads that a PERFECT marriage doesn't exist. i even venture to say that people that don't argue, have fights, or yell at each other, are not human. how could they be? the only perfect person to walk this person was Jesus, and i guarantee none of us are married to him.

but, i think there is this myth, especially in LDS marriages, that there are couples out there that don't fight. i don't think its true. and i think we're all doing a great disservice to ourselves to compare ourselves to what appears from the outside to be the "perfect" or "happy
marriages of others.

case in point, i have a friend, i'll call her Sally (not real name, because i don't want her to be embarrassed or everyone search on my blog list for her name). Sally, is practically perfect in every way. she comes from the best family who is spiritual, faithful, open, and loving. sally and i have been friends for going on 7 years and she's a great example. she served a mission and married an awesome guy. they go to the temple EVERY week, have food storage, have family home evening every monday night, don't believe in postponing having kids, read and pray together every night... you get the picture. they're pretty awesome.

well, this weekend (in all my spare time not talking to my husband) i called sally up. she's never complained about her marriage and i assumed that like everything in her life, it must be pretty darn close to perfect. you couldn't imagine my surprise (and relief) to know that her and her husband fight, and yell, and even *gasp* cuss at each other sometimes. hallelujah!

we're all normal people! we all do it. don't think others are so much happier or have better marriages than you. because let me tell you, if my friend and her husband fight, then everyone must too. and its not the fact that we're all saying we don't love being married. because a lot of the time its great, but lets do ourselves all a little favor, and admit to the world on occasion, that some of the time its the HARDEST thing we've ever done in our lives.

its supposed to be hard. that's why marriage is so important. we learn patience, faith, love, forgiveness, hope, sacrifice, endurance... and hopefully through it all we learn as a couple to turn to the Lord in our trials. its the only way we can make it.

so, when you're having a crappy day with your hubby or with your life, don' t let yourself search your blog list and sit in disgust or pitty, looking at the seemingly perfect lives of your friends (can't say i haven't done it myself). this is one friend, that isn't afraid to let you know, we're NOT perfect. but, we're trying. and you can keep trying too...

about that new job

2010-05-12T11:23:00.003-06:00

so, i mentioned recently that i got a new job.
let me share the details.
first, i got my hours cut at the treatment center i work for to part time.
budget cutbacks. i was pretty upset & frustrated. but let me not go there.
then, the very next day, i saw a part-time job posted for a receptionist/office assistant at a private therapy office.
i submitted my resume and interviewed the next week.
the hours worked perfectly with my hours at the treatment center.
i got the job and felt so blessed. i knew this had happened for a reason.

because, let me explain. the therapists i work for are excellent. i couldn't have any better mentors/bosses in st. george i believe. they are all very successful and are super nice. i'm gaining such valuable experience for my future career its amazing.
in down time, i read therapy articles, help edit articles that the therapists i work for are writing, learn more about therapy-- read handouts, get to know clients...etc. its perfect.
plus, in about a year i will start my internships.
mental health therapists have to complete three internships in their last year of school.
and internships in private therapy offices are some of the most prized/coveted/hard to get.
and you better believe they already told me i can intern here as well.

so, i'm jumping for joy. not only that, but one therapist has said i can sit in on some therapy sessions any time i want. also, i'm going to sit in on the women's group for Lifestar next week. so excited.

so in case you live in the area and are interested in these awesome therapists-- check them out here and here. one wrote this article on the church's new combating pornography website here. the other one, is writing a book about pornography for deseret book. also, the third therapist, amy cluff, is the best around for her specialty in child/play therapy. i'm seeing how the whole world of private therapy works and i can't wait to be a therapist.
i'm learning from the best. i'm so grateful for the way the Lord has guided me in my career choices. if it wasn't for him, i would have never thought of going into therapy. but, he led me in that direction and i'm so thankful. things happen for a reason! including lay-offs and cut-backs. i know that for a fact. i feel so blessed.

small world

2010-05-10T15:35:00.004-06:00

my sister opened her mission call Saturday. and surprisingly, she's going to Brazil too!

She will be in the Ribeirao Preto, Brazil mission
and my brother is currently in the Fortaleza, Brazil mission
only 400 miles from each other

and they'll be finishing around the same time.
i think we might actually convince the parents to let us all fly there to pick them up Spring 2012.
congrats courtney!
and i got to talk to my brother on the phone yesterday for mother's day.
i'm so proud of him & he's doing great.

silly girls & their hair

2010-05-06T12:39:00.004-06:00

so the votes are in

apparently, 42% of you think I should grow my hair long again.

and 47% think i should go shoulder length.

well, not to dissapoint the 10% who liked my short hair,

but the people have spoken.

and i agree with them

and am ready for a change

so, i'm growing it out.

let the "awkward phase" begin. at least that's what i told my new boss, and he laughed and hired me anyway. i'll have to post more about my new employer soon. don't worry, still working with the wonderful teens in treatment too.

what you don't see

2010-05-06T12:25:00.005-06:00

read THIS excellent blog post from an LDS woman about what we don't see when people blog about their lives. i loved it. it touched on why i wrote that honesty post a couple of weeks ago. i think if everyone tried to paint more realistic pictures of their lives when they are posting online, we'd all benefit from it, learn from eachother, and grow.

share with us, what we don't see from your blog... i dare you : )

see what some my friends (or friends of friends) wrote HERE and HERE.

also, you've probably all seen this recent video on NIE, but I love it. i shared it with some of the girls at my work today who struggle with body image. inspiring.

little brother

2010-05-04T09:28:00.004-06:00

my brother josh is doing excellent in brazil. i'm so proud of him. he's almost been out as long as i was which is crazy. but, its not hard to beat 5 months.

so happy he had his first real baptism. i say "real" because he taught these people and when the couple was having doubts that they wanted to be baptized-- my brother and his companion fasted without food or water (its hot down there!) for 24 hours and prayed that they would know the church was true. and wouldn't you know, the next day when they went to visit them their hearts had been touched by something their daughter said to them and they were ready to get married & baptized! so proud of you josh.

AMEN

2010-04-29T15:45:00.001-06:00

Single Ladies Devastation

2010-04-26T09:17:00.000-06:00

this made me laugh and sometimes we all need a good laugh on a monday morning.

being honest

2010-04-14T18:32:00.005-06:00

i was tagged. so, now i have to write 10 truly honest things about myself. but what if i don't want to? okay, what the heck...

10 truly honest things about myself, that you probably don't care to read

1. i didn't get awesome grades in high school. i think my cumulative gpa was a 3.3

compared to all my friends that got into BYU, i felt pretty dumb.

then i had 2 rough semesters in college which led me to graduate college with a 3.0 cumulative gpa. i should never taken earthquakes and volcanoes and can you believe i failed music for education majors? don't ask me. that teacher was insane. i made a flute out of a metal pipe that actually worked. but it did me no good.

my biggest problem was i hated studying for tests. maybe that's why i majored in english.

i prefer a paper to a test any day!

and lucky for me, it looks like counseling is right up my alley in that department.

tests so far in my master's program= 1

# of papers= usually one every week

my master's gpa so far= 4.0

2. i hardly ever paint my toes. okay, so in the summer i'm usually better. but, it chips off so easily and i hate walking around with chipped nail polish. it either has to be all on or all off. so most of the time, my toes are all natural. i know a lot of my friends would think that's gross : )

3. i shop at the dollar store.

things i buy: toilet paper, tissue, cleaning supplies, dish soap, hand soap, dog treats, dog toys, dog pee spray, peanut butter filled pretzels, gift bags, candy, hangers, laundry soap, fabric softener, dryer sheets, drinking glasses, bowls, tupperware, fingernail polish (maybe that's why mine always chips off), lip gloss, deodorant, travel size toiletries, greeting cards, holiday decorations.

and even so, sometimes i put my zip lock bags in the dishwasher so i can use them again.

don't judge me.

4. i let my dogs poo on the grass at the park, and i don't pick it up with a baggie.

i really should, but somehow i always forget those dang bags.

5. we train our dogs using a shock collar. its not as inhumane as it sounds. it barely even zaps them. but we like to let them off their leashes, so we have to train them to obey. we used our friends collar for harely, but this week we ordered our own. i have to admit its going to be hard at first using it on cooper, but its really for their own good. obedient dogs are safe and happy dogs. who don't get hit by cars, scare people, or run away.

6. i ALWAYS wear a padded bra. ha. dang family genes.

7. i want to make more money. we have enough, but not tons left over, extra, or lying around. i'm excited to be a therapist for this reason too. hopefully at a treatment center in florida, i can make around $75,000 a year while landon is in optometry school. then after i gain some experience, i'd like to start a private practice. charging people $90 to $120 an hour. so depending how many clients you get, the numbers could be quite good. i already have an agreement with landon's mom to babysit. ha.

i want to be able to travel, have a nice house, have horses, and do things for others...

and with landon being an optometrist and me a therapist, i think we're setting ourselves up pretty good.

but don't expect me to stop shopping at the dollar store for at least 6 more years. or maybe never.

8. landon and i eat out way too much. i'm guilty of eating McDonald's for breakfast twice last week. i also may have skipped dinner last night so that i could eat an oreo frosty from wendy's. man, oh man, my bad eating habits are sooo hard to break.

and it doesn't help that my husband is a pole, who couldn't gain weight if he tried. but, i'm still trying.

9. i've been married before. most of my friends know this, but hey, now its open to the whole blog universe. i got married to an RM in the temple when i was 20, found out he was addicted to porn, and was divorced & devastated by 21. i moved to provo shortly thereafter-- where i had some of the most difficult and fun times of my life. i received special permission from the first presidency to serve a mission. although being sent home sick after only 5 months was another devastating loss, the Lord blessed me with meeting landon in the MTC. and on our first phone conversation when we got home, i told him my whole story. and he said he respected & loved me more because of it.

i couldn't of dreamed up a more perfect man for me.

10. i'm totally in love with my husband. our first year of marriage was not without challenges. but, i think its challenging for everybody.

i think its important for people to be honest about it so that people who our getting married know reality. already, the second year has gone so much smoother, even for no apparent reasons. i think in the first year, you're just trying to get used to each other. you may not choose your battles well. you may not be as mature as you could be. you may freak out over little things and expect everything to be perfect.

but, we are really doing great. and now we're reading scriptures & praying every night which helps so much. which we weren't very consistent with before. we also didn't go to the temple much last year, i don' t know why. we'd just get busy.

but, now we're putting it on the calendar every month. and i'm look forward to it.

we've figured out the things we just don't talk about to avoid arguments

landon saves us with his humor when i'm being too serious about something stupid

and i help him act older than he is

and we're happy. we still argue, but we haven't had a big argument in sometime.

and it feels great.

well, there you go my friends! honesty. i like this post because i think we all benefit when people talk about REAL life on their blogs and don't try and paint a perfect picture.

so, there's your challenge. why don't you post? i won't tag anyone. but, i'd love to hear 10 truly honest things from you too!

armed & dangerous

2010-04-12T17:36:00.015-06:00

today i wasn't feeling well, so i stayed home from work. when landon got home, he convinced me to go out and shoot our gun. we hadn't shot it yet, so landon was excited. we drove out to the arizona strip and set up our target!

i was pretty nervous to shoot it at first because i've never shot a handgun before. at first i made landon stand behind me and hold his hands over mine when i shot it. but, then i got more brave and eventually shot it all by myself. but, i only shot the 45's, landon also tried out the shotgun shells which had more kick. maybe next time i'll work up to that. but, i was pretty proud of myself... even though i didn't hit the target! i still am convinced i have a pretty good eye, i was just too nervous to concentrate on that and my hands kept shaking.

sick at home = no make up jessica = not wanting to be video taped

landon showed me up big time. his very first time shooting the gun was his best shot--about 1/2 inch away from the bulls eye. he looked pretty good while doing it too. however, i think it all went to his head and now he's walking around the house bragging he has a better shot than john wayne. yee-haw! trevor, maybe he will be borrowing your chaps sometime soon...

landon's softer side-- p.s. in the time that it took for one of those videos to load & be ready to post, i made homemade lasagna, cooked it for an hour, and we ate it. blogger is ridiculous! finally, i just uploaded them through vimeo. about 15 mins each video.

anyways, i wanted to share with you the recipe for that lasagna. it was very good & healthy. landon even liked it. i got the recipe off of the trainer momma website. see button on the side of my blog. she has a lot of recipes on there.

Lasagna

1 lb ground turkey

1/2 c onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

24 oz spaghetti sauce (I use Classico)

3/4 c water

2 c cottage cheese, low fat

1/2 c Parmesan cheese

1 T parsley

1 pkg. whole wheat lasagna noodles, uncooked

2 cups mozzarella cheese, grated

1 zucchini, shredded

2 cups fresh spinach, chopped fine

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.Brown ground turkey and add onion and garlic. When cooked, add spaghetti sauce and water.In another bowl, blend the cottage cheese, Parmesan cheese and parsley.Start layering in a casserole dish: 4 or 5 noodles, meat mixture, spinach, cottage cheese mixture, then half of mozzarella cheese. Then more noodles, meat mixture, zucchini, cottage cheese mixture, then the rest of the mozzarella.Cover with foil and cook for 1 hour. Let sit about 10 minutes before serving. Makes 12 servings. 227 calories per serving.

i stole the picture from her website, because i forgot to take one before we ate half of it. mine looked just like this.

school

2010-04-12T09:37:00.008-06:00

i'm so proud of my hubby. this past year, landon had a full tuition scholarship as part of the Dixie Scholars scholarship fund. he won their hearts again and will be receiving the scholarship again next year. we feel so blessed to not have to pay for his school and i'm so proud of the person that he is and the things that he does.

recently, he spoke at the scholarship banquet. out of the 20 or so scholarship recipients, they chose landon to be the speaker. he did great. we had a nice evening.

love you landon!

p.s. random pic of me and the pups. look how big cooper is now!

facials

2010-04-06T14:26:00.006-06:00

so, remember THIS post when i talked about the new wrinkles under my eyes?

well, i decided to do something about it.

my great friend, nanci, is the art teacher at my work

she's funny, sassy, and sometimes i forget she's not 25 like me

try 25 x 2

besides her youthful soul, she also has excellent skin.
she gets facials frequently and uses THIS great line of products for her face

she also uses mineral makeup from the red rock resort & spa

and what can i say, i was inspired

i decided if i wanted my skin to look half as good as hers at her age

i needed to start taking better care of my skin

not that i don't take good care of it

i wash it with a good face wash morning & night

and use moisturizer with SPF too

but lets face it, not the same investment as the lovely products mentioned above

so, i bit the bullet and scheduled my first facial

i bargained with landon saying i wouldn't get my massage for the month

(he's such a sweet husband)

i scheduled my appointment with nanci's facial lady "sounie"

she's korean, so don't ask me how to spell it

and i show up for my appointment a couple of days later

she invites me in to her lovely esthetics room

i'm anxious but excited

i'm afraid she's going to tell me i have awful skin

that there's no hope...

you know how sometimes asian women are brutally honest

thus, why i never get my nails done anymore

but, she's very nice & tells me i'm beautiful

so i feel better

she starts by cleaning my face

then she starts doing my eyebrows

lovely, i think to myself, i didn't know this was included

sweet

i tell her how excited i am to get my first facial

she kinda looks at me confused, but keeps working

(there was a lot of work to do up there)

she does a great job

i've always had a hard time with my eyebrows

i try and try to get the right shape

but she creates it effortlessly

after she's completed my fantastic brows

she tells me i'm done

confused, i laugh and say, "are you sure?"

she's says "yes, eyebrows done"

well, apparently, she wrote me down for an eyebrow appointment

and i thought i was getting a facial

and stupid me didn't even realize while she was doing my eyebrows

that this is not a facial

but, she was so nice though and didn't even charge me

she even gave me some free samples of the fantastic products mentioned above

so, THIS thursday, i'm getting a real-life facial

no eyebrows included

ill let you know how it goes

but in the meantime, check out these bad boys...

THEN-

i'll use this for my before pic.

see, too thick at the start & then two thin at the ends

also, not a very good arch.

NOW

and literally "now". i just took this oh-so-lovely pic of me 5 seconds ago

they are thinned out in the beginning

to create a nicer, even arch. i was happy

the end.

and yes i get to wear t-shirts, hoodies, jeans, shorts... to work every single day

maybe you should work in a teen treatment center too? : )

what i do

2010-04-06T10:48:00.003-06:00

as i've said before, i work at a residential treatment center.
we have teens here in treatment from 12 to 17
i used to be the administrative assistant
but now, i'm the academic counselor and i love it
i handle grades, graduation, transcripts, college applications... and such
i also get to talk with students one on one and help them with whatever they are struggling with. thus, why i decided to pursue my masters in mental health therapy

so, i'll be a licensed mental health therapist in july 2012
still a way to go, but lucky for me, i already work in the field and get to utilize my skills in my current position

however, with my english background i also get to do another fun project
i write & design the school newspaper quarterly. i teach a writing class twice a week and students write articles. we had some really good ones this past issue.

to learn more about my work & our fantastic kids, see our newsletter HERE

the judge

2010-04-06T09:53:00.003-06:00

i feel more nervous & more safe at the same time. is that possible?

yesterday landon convinced me that we needed to invest in a gun

i guess obama doesn't want us to keep our right to bear arms

which, i don't follow politics, but i think is kinda crazy

because we need to be able to protect ourselves

and this law will only take away the legal guns, it isn't going to make a difference for the illegal ones

guns make me nervous though

i've been to a driving range once in my life and i cried when somebody started shooting a magnum in the lane next to me

i've only shot 22's but i'm proud to say i have pretty good accuracy

i liken this skill to the same skill i have of knowing if something is perfectly level

im telling you i am the human level

after we hang something when i check with the level

i'm always spot on

same eye skills involved in hitting a target with a gun i do believe

maybe i could have been a sniper in another life

anyways, so we have a gun now

its called "the judge"

it can shoot 45 colt bullets

or 410 shotgun shells

which all i gather from this is that i can shoot an intruder in our house

or a wild animal trying to attack me while we're camping

landon showed me how to work it, load it, but i have not yet shot it

i heard it carries quite the punch so i'm nervous

but its in our bedroom closet now

loaded and ready to go if someone decides to mess with us

now before you all scream, PEACE, end violence!

we're not creating violence

we're only seeking to protect our family if someone/something tries to be violent towards us

but i have to laugh at our quarrel last night

we were debating whether or not landon steals the covers at night

which he does, EVERY single night

and he also moves as if he is running a marathon

but he doesn't know because he's asleep

landon continued to argue his point until i said with my most serious face

"well lets get out "the judge" and let him decide"

conversation over. laughter ensued

april fools

2010-04-01T10:10:00.004-06:00

i've been spreading "the news" all day to the kids at my work that i am pregnant. i love how excited they get and then how mad they are when i utter the words, "april fools." its so fun. i can't get enough of it.

and you better believe that i'm going to trick landon. i've even got a pregnant lady peeing on a stick for me as we speak, so that i can really get the full effect of the joke.

he's going to hate me. i'll let you know how it goes!

update: so i chickened out. i was afraid landon would be too mad. later that night when i told him what I was planning on doing, he said,

"oh i would have killed you. that is NOT something we joke around about!"

so, i guess if i wanted to live to produce actual offspring, its best that i didn't april fool's landon. ha. maybe next year. but no pregnancy tests involved.

take that & rewind it back

2010-03-31T13:10:00.004-06:00

last night, i was looking back at pictures from april 2009. my family came and my mom took pictures of our apartment.

is it unusual that now, in april 2010, almost every single piece of furniture has either been sold on craigslist, redone or rearranged?

then: black entertainment center
now: turquoise green buffet

then: old 32" box television
now: 42" flat screen

then: tan leather couch
now: tan microfiber sectional

then: black coffee table & black side tables
now: orange coffee table

then: decoupage art on wall made by me
now: huge abstract painting done by yours truly

then: dinning table, rug & small cage for harley in the kitchen
now: large play gate for both dogs in the kitchen, table moved to the family room & rug upstairs

then: computer armoire downstairs in family room
now: computer armoire upstairs in second bedroom

then: black folding table & boxes in second bedroom
now: lime green desk, computer, bookcases, chalkboard wall, wing back chairs

either my old roommate, megan mcrae, really rubbed off on me... or i have a serious case of decorating ADHD.

p.s i also had hair past the middle of my back & my husband drove a different car. we're crazy.

how has your life changed in the past year?

normal

2010-03-29T08:52:00.011-06:00

i finally dragged my butt back to the gym... and reluctantly my thighs & stomach followed.

i blame my 3 week hiatus on 3 things.

vacation #1

vacation #2

day light savings

it was super hard to get back in a routine after escaping real life for a while. and when 5:45 am became 4:45 am-- that reality is a no-brainer. funny, that this lack of normalcy also threw off my regular blogging & house cleaning. good thing my awesome friend & hair girl, nicole, inspired me again because my bathroom scale was also throwing out some very irregular numbers.

but i'm back. i burned 600 calories on the elliptical in one hour which was a personal best for me. so, i'm starting out strong & trying to keep it that way. it helped when this lady got on to the elliptical next to me and i swear kept looking over at my resistance & incline and changing her's to match. she was totally trying to compete with me. but, don't worry i brought it. she got off after 35 mins.

and is it bad that when i saw the good ol' pregnant girl previously mentioned in this post, i secretly smiled at the sight of her expanding belly & prego pudge? (not dissing pregnant girls. you have to read previous post)

oh, and i have to laugh recalling last night's tiff with landon. we were bickering over something really stupid like how much organic food costs compared to regualr food and landon remarked, "oh, cut it out you old lady." i tried, but i couldn't help letting a laugh escape from my lips. and then we went to bed snuggling & doing impersonations of michael scott all night.

life's been going pretty good actually and i don't have much to complain about. not that i really complain on my blog. although, i somewhat admire people who do. because, it makes me feel like people are still normal. so, maybe i'll start complaining a little when my life's hard-- but not too much, because i know one girl who does too much and it just makes you feel awkward. but mostly awkward for her.

just like everything, balance is key. you can't eat too much delicious mexican food or you'll gain 2 pounds on vacation #1 and 3 more on vacation #2. you can't be too serious in marriage or you'll forget how to be silly. and most importantly, you can't compare others perfections to your imperfections or you'll forget what you love about yourself.

and i love myself. even the new lines i found under my eyes last week which gave some relevancy to the old lady comment.

my brother the missionary

2010-03-16T09:33:00.009-06:00

josh is doing great in fortaleza, brazil. i was so excited when he sent some pictures, i had to share.

his group in fortaleza with mission president & wifemosquito net/tent covering his bed

i can't believe how more grown up he looks.

his desk & apartment.

got to love those foreign mission apartments! so proud of you josh. my love to you.

san diego

2010-03-13T18:27:00.041-07:00

after posting so many pics, i don't have much enthusiasm to write-- but we had a great time on our spring break. we camped at san elijio state beach by cardiff. it was a bit cooler than we were expecting, so if it seems we are wearing the same hoodies in almost every picture that's because we are. we ate tons of excellent real mexican food (i don't want to talk about the number i saw on the scale when i got home), talked to many hippies/travelers around our campfires (i swore we met one of the three nephites) and enjoyed much rest and relaxation.

p.s. the whistle that landon is wearing in some of the pics is for FALLING WHISTLES click HERE to go to the website to learn more about the little boys in Congo who are forced to the front lines of war with only whistles to protect them. all proceeds of the whistles sold go to saving these kidnapped abused boys of war. go and check it out & be a whistle blower of peace!

while in san diego I also found out about another great cause. ACHOLI BEADS are bracelets made by ugandan women of the acholi tribe. another war torn village, the only way these women could make any money was working in a dangerous rock quarry until this business was started with help of U.S. supporters. go HERE to learn more and buy an amazing bracelet. see their video below.

TJ

2010-03-03T19:00:00.001-07:00

i love me a good TJ maxx. don't you? head over to my new favorite work out/healthy eating blog trainer momma to enter to win a free $50 TJ gift card.

i hope you & me win.

today

2010-03-02T09:27:00.005-07:00

i'm laughing today because....

landon's Florida drivers license is expiring & they are making him take the written test. i went over the hand signals with him this morning, but i could not keep a straight face.

they are also requiring ten billion forms of ID-

original birth certificate, Florida drivers license, school id, car insurance forms with address on it, two separate pieces of certified mail addressed to him...

why don't they add original umbilical cord and extracted wisdom teeth to the list?

i'm not so happy today because...

my grandparents took us to cafe rio for landon's birthday last night & i ate too much

why did i think just because we went to coldstone i had to eat something at coldstone?

the scale this morning reflected my lack of judgement

i'm happy today because...

tomorrow i leave for new mexico (grandma's funeral) and will get to see my fam

landon's picking me up in vegas sunday & we're driving to san diego for spring break

i don't have to think about work for 8 days.

sweat

2010-02-26T08:38:00.006-07:00

it was one of those mornings. i was at the gym fighting off discouragement with every minute that ticked by on the treadmill. one of those, why is my stomach not flat already mornings. cringing at the thought of being in a swimsuit in san diego in approximately 10 days mornings.

didn't help when these 2 women came in to lift weights. both were super toned. both were lean, mean muscle machines. both were lifting their 25 pound weights like they were feathers, while i lifted my 12 pounders, sweating. they joked and talked and i tried not to stare. one girl remarked how she was 4 months pregnant. i think my jaw gaped open. i'm convinced my torso looks far more likely to be carrying a 16 week fetus at this moment than hers did. i almost took a picture on my phone to prove it.

i painfully thought to myself, how much longer until i look like that? will i even look like that?at my current rate of losing a pound a week (if im lucky), maybe in 6 months.

probably didn't help when i ate that cookie ice cream chocolate volcano thing at red lobster last night. which wasn't my fault. my husband tempts me and i give in. he's a bad influence.

but ultimately my problem is discouragement. its gets me every time. just when my results start to slow down i feel like its not working. but i'm trying not to let history repeat itself.

i vow to you and the blog universe that i will not give up. i will continue to work out every morning and sweat. i will continue to eat my protein, veggies, and other good for you but not taste so good foods. i will not be intimidated by fabulous looking women. i will continue to tell myself i'll be one of them someday. and i'll even try and believe it.

familes are forever

2010-02-25T09:21:00.004-07:00

my mom got this email from my brother. it was so cute, i had to share.

Hey Mom,

Today at the temple I had a special experience. The whole day I just felt different during the bus ride and everything. I was thinking about Grandma last night and how much she loved us. I was thinking how I never said goodbye to her. In the temple the whole time I felt like Grandma was there looking down on me. I kept looking up expecting to see something. So when I got to the Celestial Room, right when I stepped in, it felt like she was there. So I sat down and it felt like she was sitting right next to me. So in a prayer I thanked Grandma for all of her love and all that she has done for me. And for being such a good Grandma. Then I said goodbye and it felt like she left. I don’t know I didn’t hear or see anything but I could just feel that she was there.

I enjoyed talking to you yesterday so much. At first it was like what am I going to say. But once you said “Hey Buddy” it all went away. It felt like we had just talked yesterday. Well, I hit the real streets of Brazil next week and I am going to hit the ground running. I love you so much. And thank you for the pizza it was so good. Thanks! Love, Josh

i'm so proud of josh. he is doing so good. he leaves the MTC this week. he is getting so grown up.

nervous

2010-02-24T11:06:00.006-07:00

my husband wants a motorcycle. heaven help us.

i've tried to convince his logic

... you'll have to work more to pay for it.

... wouldn't it be nice to have more money in savings.

... why don't you wait until you can get the bike you really want?

... is this a need or a want?

i've tried to convince his emotions

... what if you wreck?

... what if I fall off?

... what if you get injured and loose an appendage?

... if you die and leave me alone i will not be your wife in heaven.

but its not working.

he says it will SAVE us money.

he says its a NEED.

he says i won't fall off.

he says he'll be super careful and will always wear a full helmet.

he says i will love him forever no matter what and will always be his wife.

that last one is true, but i'm still crossing my fingers.

tag I'm it

2010-02-22T14:01:00.003-07:00

ABCs

A- Attached or single: Attached, 1 year married, 3 years together

B- Best Friend: um, duh. Aren't you supposed to marry your best friend?

C- Cake or Pie: Both sound delicious, but can't have either (and loose weight that is)

D- Day: Saturday
E- Essential Item: These days a protein bar & water bottle! ha
F- Favorite Color: I like lime green these days. I always change.

G- Gummi Bears or Worms: Sour Worms

H- Home town: Clovis, CA or Stewartsville, NJ

I- Indulgences: Dark Chocolate, massages, getting my hair done
J- January or July: JULY
K- Kids: Harley 15 mo, Cooper 4 mo

L- Life is incomplete without: family, friends, church, pups, a purpose in life
M- Marriage Date: Dec 20th 2008

N- Number of Siblings: 4 sisters & 1 brother
O- Oranges or Apples: Clementines!
P- Phobias or Fears: Landon dying, being alone
Q- Quote: Die trying

R- Reason to smile: puppies greeting me at the door, landon being sweet, blessing received
S- Season: Summer
T- Tag Three: Courtney Gordon, Brittany Wayman & Stephanie Alston

U- Unknown Fact About Me: 3 pounds when i was born

V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: How can you not eat meat?
W- Worst Habit: biting fingernails

X- X-rays or Ultrasounds: What does that mean? Ultrasound-- I wouldn't know.

Y- Your favorite food: Love Italian & Mexican probably the most

Z- Zodiac Sign: Leo

when it rains it pours

2010-02-22T09:15:00.008-07:00

not only was sunday a sad day because the rain cancelled my horse riding plans, but it was even more sad when i got a phone call in the middle of the night from my dad saying my grandma had died.

i've never had anyone close to me die. its a weird thing. i've seen others go through it, had friends whose family members have died, but that's different.

its different to actually be close to someone that has passed on. knowing that they are on the other side, watching over you, waiting for you... its makes heaven seem a little more real. it reaffirms your own beliefs about eternal life.

i'm thankful i know families are forever. i'm so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. i don't know how people cope with death without this knowledge.

to learn more about what I believe, click here.

love you grammy. i know i was always your favorite. thanks to you i was the best dressed 5 year old west of the Mississippi. i will always hear this song and think of you.

ya'll don't laugh at me

2010-02-20T14:40:00.005-07:00

its vitally important that it not rain tomorrow... why? because i'm going horseback riding. i'm so excited. after my valentines post (see below), i thought to myself--why don't i take lessons. i've always wanted to. what's stopping me?

if i thought i loved craigslist before, now our relationship is official. i put an ad under the wanted section for lessons. well, i got a bunch of emails giving prices. some of which were very reasonable. and i was about to sign up with one place, when i got an email from a lady named Trisha. she said she'd teach me for free if i helped with her horses. she's the trainer for all the tuacahn horses and lives really close to my house.

i was thrilled. not only do i not have to pay, but i get to spend time learning how to actually take care of horses too...which, is vitally important if landon and i plan to own 1-2 of them someday.

then my luck continued as Jolley's is going out of business in st. george and i got some killer real deal cowgirl boots for 1/2 off.

so its official. i'm becoming a cowgirl. i even wore my new boots to work yesterday which only slightly concerned my fellow coworkers. they said as long as i don't start wearing wranglers and a belt buckle, they'll still be my friends.

oh ya

2010-02-16T10:45:00.003-07:00

i've been working out. i got a gym membership in january and used it occasionally, but now i'm finally getting my butt back in gear. i've been going every morning Mon- Sat from 6 to 7:30.

(@ Desert Palms... the more the merrier)

i get annoyed when i don't see a lot of change on the scale, but this morning when i could pull my jeans off without unbuttoning them-- i knew i was getting somewhere.

"nothing tastes better than skinny"

check out a new blog i found-- trainer mama.

watch out martha stewart

2010-02-14T18:54:00.003-07:00

our valentines

2010-02-14T18:03:00.006-07:00

we decided to celebrate on saturday, like all the other mormons. i had to go to class in the morning, but when i came home my car was nicely washed (or should i say detailed) for me and landon had lunch waiting. he may or may not have greeted me at the door wearing JUST an apron. haha... TMI? love it.

after lunch we opened our cards to each other. i opened mine and landon had drawn a horse and cut out the letters "your choice". he had used scrapbook paper and everything and boys trying to do that stuff just melts my heart... ha. okay, so in the envelope were three different places to go horseback riding and i could chose which one i wanted. one in san diego (we are going in a couple weeks) and two at Zions. very sweet. i love horses. my dream would to be to find a way to actually take horseback riding lessons. i've wanted to my whole life. i stare at those girls at the rodeo in amazement, awe & envy every time. kinda weird i know, but anyways. i digress.

then it was off to do my surprise. i blindfolded landon in the car because i didn't want him to see where we were growing. a cute idea until some old man driver decided to brake in front of me for no apparent reason causing me to slam on the brakes giving landon a heart attack. the good husband he is he didn't even take off his blindfold. finally, we got there in one piece... to experience our couples massage. landon had never had a massage before and i knew he would like it.

there was one thing however that i did not consider when booking said massages. when the two girls walked out that were going to be giving us massages, one was skinny, tan, brunette and wearing a lot of makeup-- you know the type. the other was a little bigger, blonde and seemed really trustworthy. like, i would trust her to rub my husband all over his body.

but do you think SHE was the one to massage him? of course not. i decided to not let it bother me, because hey, i was paying money to be relaxed here-- so i tried really, really hard not to think about it. i kept peeking over at him seeing what the girl was doing to him-- and then i finally just gave up and realized it was better just to keep my eyes closed! didn't help that landon thought this was hilarious and after we left, proceeded to describe to me in detail how she rubbed his upper thigh.

after our massages (next time i'm going to request helga for landon), we drove to vegas. did a little (or a lot) of shopping at nordstrom rack. thank goodness it takes an hour and a half car ride to get to that store or we'd be in some major financial trouble. after 4 hours of shopping (no, just that ONE store people) we called it quits thank heavens and went to eat at ENVY steakhouse in the renaissance hotel.

so, have i told you how much i love resturants.com? a while ago, we bought a bunch of $25 gift cards on there for $2.50 each. so worth it. we've gotten to eat at some amazing resturants that we wouldn't normally pay for. this place was perfect for valentines with all the red & it was so fancy. it always makes us feel cheap to whip out our resturants.com gift card, but who cares, we can pretend we're rich for a second.

well, that was our valentines day. so lucky to have the amazing husband that i do. love to know we have forever together & have so many years to build such great memories. its so nice to be loved. isn't it? happy valentines day.

update

2010-02-07T11:47:00.021-07:00

we've been very busy lately and my lack of blogging can attest to that. between school and work-- not much free time left over! but, we did manage to squeeze a few projects in.

first, i was getting tired of our plain black coffee table from ikea... so i sold it on craigslist. and i found a new one on craigslist for $15 that was so unique. i forgot to take a before picture, so i had to take a picture of the craigslist ad... so not the best quality, but you get the idea.

the finished result.

then, we found this really awesome buffet table at the DI for $20. We sold our other entertainment center on craigslist for more than we bought it for (have i told you i heart craigslist) to make room for this bad boy. The old one didn't fit our new tv very well.

the end result. i used foam brushes to create a kinda streaky unique look. which, looks better in person. the flash made the streakes stand out more than they really do.

i already bought some really cool vases and candle holders to go on the sides of the tv. AND cooper is pretty much done potty training, so i'll be moving my black and white rug back into the living room soon.

speaking of cooper, that little guy is getting bigger! i went to put on his sweater yesterday and it didn't even cover half of his back. harley and him have a blast chasing each other around the house. and now that cooper is bigger we no longer have to constantly yell at harley to be gentle.

bored

2010-02-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

if i were a month, i'd be july.
if i were a day of the week, i'd be saturday.
if i were a time of day, i'd be evening.
if i were a sea animal, i'd be a dolphin.
if i were a direction, i'd be south.
if i were a gemstone, i'd be amber.
if i were a tree, i'd be a christmas tree.
if i were a tool, i'd be a camera.
if i were a flower, i'd be a lilly.
if i were a kind of weather, i'd be warm summer day.
if i were a musical instrument, i'd be a piano.
if i were a color, i'd be teal.
if i were a fruit, i'd be a strawberry.
if i were an element, i'd be the sum.
if i were a food, i'd be chocolate.
if i were a place, i'd be home.
if i were a material, i'd be chenille.
if i were a scent, i'd be autumn.
if i were an object, i'd be a heart.
if i were a song, i'd be romantic country.

great giveaway

2010-01-29T14:47:00.002-07:00

check out THIS awesome photography website.

almost as great as the site, is the trip you could win to Seattle.

and by saying "you", i'm really hoping "me"... haha.

its about time

2010-01-09T20:46:00.004-07:00

thanks mom & dad for the camping stuff for christmas.

we camped out a night and then flew to florida.

enjoying the snuggies at landon's parents' house.

we took a tour of Nova Southeastern's Optometry school in ft. lauderdale. hopefully, landon can go there someday.

the future dr. hedgepeth

the optometry building.

happy 1 year.

here's to many more with this handsome hunk.

location of our first official date, 2 years ago.

clearwater beach, fl

it looked beautiful on christmas day.

landon's parents. ron & sheila

the fam.

my favorite disney park-- animal kingdom.

for Brooke.

leaving to go home sucked.

we'll miss you florida & family.

good thing landon gave me something good to come home to. our new puppy, cooper, a toy poodle. harley loves him.

testing

2010-01-07T09:58:00.006-07:00

thanks to a friend, I finally figured out how to get my pictures bigger on my blog. it is a little annoying uploading them in photobucket to do this-- so if anyone knows a different way, let me know! in the meantime, this will work.

elder vallem

2010-01-02T08:48:00.001-07:00

here is a picture of my brother in the brazil MTC. he is the fourth from the left, in the back, blue tie.

back in the fast lane

2009-12-31T13:16:00.003-07:00

well, we're back from sunny florida and its been a whirlwind ever since. i will be posting pictures from our trip as soon as a get a minute to breathe. apparently, there is no such thing as a "christmas break" in my masters program. what will i be doing tonight for new years eve? homework, homework and more homework. and new years day? you guessed it, more homework!

on a better note, santa (aka landon) was very good to me this year. not only did we have an awesome time in florida with trips to ft lauderdale and disney world, but we also got a new tv and blue ray player and all the University of Florida apparel that landon and I could ever want.

and to save the best for last-- when returning to utah we stopped in vegas and landon let me buy the cutest poodle puppy you've ever seen. he's 7 weeks old and black with some white on his face, chest and feet. we named him cooper and he is adorable! pictures to come... of our new addition : ) so far, harley has done pretty well with him. i don't think he understands why he gets yelled at every time he tackles him... (i was just playing, mom)... but he is adjusting well. the puppy is super playful with him and i think as soon as he gets big enough, they will have a lot of fun together.

oh, and my one and only brother in the world, josh, left for Brazil 2 days ago! we thought we'd get to see him before he left, when my parents took him to the provo MTC... but surprise... he went straight to the Brazil MTC. so, we said our goodbyes over the phone. its nuts. i can't believe he is old enough to be on a mission. this is my little brother we're talking about here! but i hope everything goes well and he doesn't have health problems like landon and I. we'll miss him.

pictures to come.

merry christmas

2009-12-25T11:50:00.002-07:00

here's to going to the beach on christmas day.

today at work i...

2009-12-15T16:35:00.002-07:00

printed a transcript & high school diploma for a girl, whom i will be very sad to see leave tomorrow, but of which i am so happy for. (Kelsey-- "you did a very good job!")

talked with one of my most favorite girls (also one of the most difficult) about her feelings regarding her parents coming to visit this weekend. when she said, "that's true. it could help"... i was so happy. (she's finally internalizing feedback)

helped two lovely girls practice singing silent night--which they will be performing in our upcoming parent weekend. it gave me goose bumps and we laughed a lot.

came back from lunch and was greeted by girls running to give me a hug and secretly smiled inside when they fought over who could come to my office to talk to me first.

love when i think about being a therapist someday. seriously, if your work does not make you happy, its not worth doing.

more pics

2009-12-15T09:13:00.010-07:00

here are some more pics that I didn't post earlier, because I thought we would use one of them for our christmas card picture, but in the end, i ended up using one i posted anyways! ha. dumb.

p.s. if you are my friend and you didn't get a christmas card, don't feel bad. i was extremely cheap this year and sent them to hardly anyone. next year! check out harley jump!

merry christmas!!

the true meaning of christmas

2009-12-10T16:34:00.001-07:00

my aunt emailed me this video. i thought it was cute. i wish everyone would remember the true reason we celebrate Christmas.

harley

2009-11-24T20:02:00.005-07:00

what is the picture above you ask? that would be x-rays of harley's front legs.

sunday night we took my sister courtney (who is down from idaho for thanksgiving) up to the bluff that looks over st. george. we pulled off the road and got out of the car with our hot chocolates in hand. harley was with us and he jumped out as well. it was really dark and we couldn't see where harley was very well. we were calling him and then all the sudden my sister spotted him in the road. right as we started calling him to come-- a car came and hit him.

it was so dark we couldn't see if he actually got ran over or if he ducked under the car. all we heard was a loud thump and the car stopped-- and i screamed. then as landon and courtney went over to see where he was, he started running towards us crying and limping. when we got him into our car we noticed his front legs were bleeding and one of them he wasn't bending. we thought for sure he broke it.

we took him to the emergency vet (it was 9 pm at night) and they looked him over. they took the x-rays ($200 bucks later) and happily he didn't break anything! we were so relieved. it was a miracle. he is so small and that car could have so easily killed him or ran him over. we still aren't exactly sure what happened-- if he just got sideswiped, ducked under the car, or just got hit by the bumper. but we are so happy he's still here and didn't get ran over!!

you don't realize how attached you are to your pets until something like this happens. some may think "dog people" are really stupid... but harley's a total member of our family and he means a lot to us. it would have been the worst thanksgiving ever if he would have died. we're so lucky. we love our little puppy.

christmas card pics

2009-11-16T13:06:00.017-07:00

landon, harley, and I had our family christmas card pictures taken about a week ago. some of you may be laughing, but i wanted to start the tradition now with or without kids. (and thanks to kelli for not making me feel like this was a retarded idea).

plus, with all of our professional photos displaying my long hair, i wanted new ones to look at that actually look like me. check them out--

i think they turned out great... AND these aren't even the ones contending for the christmas card slot. check out my friend christiana's photography blog here. or some of my other great photography friends here and here.

my office

2009-11-11T18:03:00.013-07:00

it seems like all i've been doing lately is painting. i'm done for a while! but, i wanted to share pics of my office. with the help of some of the girls at my school (shout out to rhianna & kelsey) we painted some awesome trees. rhianna drew it all out and then we painstakingly painted them free hand. i thought it turned out pretty cool. it feels great to have a place to work everyday that is unique and feels my own.

all the walls are painted gray. two walls have the aspen trees. the other one has a big tree painted on it with another chalk board... of course... what else??

the fabulous trees.
good thing i'll be around a while to enjoy it. thanks girls!!

somethin out of nothin

2009-11-09T20:00:00.010-07:00

our 2nd bedroom was pretty blah. actually, it was our crap room. all the crap that we didn't know where to put or didn't want to look at, we put in there. there was no desk, only two bookshelves and a whole lot of junk everywhere. to make this transformation more grand, you have to understand that i spent weeks cleaning out junk in boxes, giving stuff away, selling stuff on craigslist, to get all our storage items to fit in the closet and not be in the room.

this is the desk we bought on craigslist for $40.painted it and decoupaged some scrapbook paper in the shelves & added a fun chalkboard to the wall. we mounted the hutch to the wall to allow more desk room.
got some cool curtains at ross... although sad i did not manage to fit our golf clubs in the closet. the other wall. the lady we bought the desk from was moving and she had this cool abstract painting. she told us her schizophrenic friend painted it and i had to have it : ) she threw it in with the desk.
okay, so now you know that we love abstract artwork. well, i was a little inspired and decided to paint one of my own. here it is in our living room.

a little wild, but we love it. and since we're renting, it was a cool (cheap) way to add a lot of color to the walls and still be able to take it with us when we move.can you tell lime green is my new favorite color? i'm already working on adding more pops of color throughout the room. fun, fun. can't wait until we have a real house someday and all my walls won't be white. imagine what we'll come up with then!

harley wouldn't hold still

2009-11-09T19:48:00.012-07:00

some people have babies, i have a dog. leave me a lone.

randoms

2009-11-01T11:59:00.015-07:00

8

2009-10-19T11:41:00.005-06:00

that is the number of weeks until we go to florida for christmas. to say that landon and i don't talk about this vacation almost on the daily, would be a lie. we can't wait.

i am not the traditional--lets play in the snow, lets go caroling all bundled up, lets freeze our butts off...christmas type person.

i am the lets wear shorts and flip flops, lets go to the beach, lets get a tan type of christmas person. and so is landon. and that's why we can perfectly agree that we'll be moving there in aprox. 3 years.

two hats

2009-10-12T10:38:00.004-06:00

i got a new job today. but, i am still doing my old job too. basically, i'm doing two jobs in one now. i still work for a treatment center, but from 9 am to 2 pm I will be the "academic counselor" and from 2 to 5 pm, I will be the "administrative assistant".

academic counselor: (new job) work downstairs in academics with the principal. request transcripts, prepare diplomas, keep track of student's grades, career and vocational counseling, help students who are acting out, need a time out, or want to talk about school or other things going on. help them succeed academically and in all areas.

administrative assistant: (old job) work upstairs for owner and directors. write web content, assist with marketing, assist with school wide projects and events, work on various assignments from owner and executive director.

there you have it. that's what i'll be doing everyday. i'm excited to work with the kids during the school day and to have more interaction with them. i love getting to know them-- helping them when they're struggling as well as seeing their successes. here's to a new job!

nie

2009-10-08T09:28:00.003-06:00

i was so upset. i went to work early, so i could leave early... to go home and watch Nie on Oprah. But, i lost track of time, and forgot to go home. SO, how was it? AND, how/where can i watch it on the Internet?

whew

2009-10-03T18:08:00.007-06:00

i talked landon into not buying a harley motorcycle. we got a mazda 3 instead. good news-- i think he may actually live to see his 23rd birthday.

p.s. we're so excited about two of the new temples they announced will be built. forteleza, brazil-- because my brother will be serving a mission there & fort lauderdale, florida-- because we might live there someday. awesome.

here we go again

2009-10-01T09:13:00.004-06:00

we are very busy these days. its been more than two weeks, and i still haven't taken any pictures. i guess i'll attempt to give a worthwhile written update.

landon is working hard in school. he is taking 16 credits and still works part time at Andrus Vision. he recently sold his car and is set on buying a harley. hmmmm... still don't know how i feel about that. he cooks dinner for us frequently and likes to cook me southern food-- last night we had deep fried catfish, fried zucchini, and corn bread. he also cooks gritts quite frequently-- although i can't decide how i feel about them. harley, on the other hand, can't get enough of them. landon teaches CTR 7 in primary and is learning more patience each and every sunday. he loves watching shark tank, cash cab, and college football. go gators!

jessica is working away. i'm still substitute teaching at work, but should be relieved of that soon. i am halfway through my first class in my masters program. i have to write a final paper, give a presentation, and do a therapy session with my teacher while being video taped. its been fun to learn more. other than work and school, i cleaned out our second bedroom and plan to do some decorating in there. i love love love looking at design sponge-before and after section. i have so many ideas i want to do. i play the piano for primary every sunday and am prepping for our primary program this month! (very scary). i still love my short hair and thoroughly enjoy being able to get ready so quickly in the morning. i still watch hgtv and tlc like a plague. i also love to watch project runway, flipping out, intervention, obsessed, and hoarders.

harley is his usual rambunctious self. he is such a good dog all day while we are gone. when we get home he loves to sit on my lap soaking up all the attention he can get for the rest of the evening. it not uncommon to have landon and harley both laying on my lap wanting a back scratch. harley loves to play and will be 1 years old next month. finally, he is becoming more snuggly and hates not to sleep near us. my favorite is when landon gets him from downstairs in the morning, and i hear him bolting up the stairs so excited to find me. if i'm in the shower, he pokes his head through the curtain as if to say, "good morning mom!" he then waits patiently on the bathroom rug until i get out. its so cute.

other than that, st. george is treating us well. it was 50 degrees this morning-- but it wasn't too bad. sorry to all those who are experiencing snow right now. sucks to be you! : ) we can't imagine living anywhere else right now. however, we're excited to go to florida for Christmas this year and dream of buying a house there someday. not much else new, maybe someday i'll post some pics!

the most exciting post ever

2009-09-14T15:30:00.004-06:00

why i haven't blogged:

1. i've been really busy at work. i mean really busy. who works until 9:30 pm on a Friday night? me!

2. we made an agreement with our neighbor to use his Internet for $20 bucks a month (connect to their wireless). it worked for 5 days and hasn't worked for the past 2 weeks. after similar situations happening with 3 different neighbors, i think we're finally going to have to bite the bullet and get our own modem and network. more money. not happy.

but in other news, i'm finally starting school this saturday. i got my binder all ready today. it felt so weird. although i have a paper due on the first day of class and the syllabus for this first course is 35 pages, i'm not going to let it intimidate me. i can't wait.

not much else new. landon has been busy in school himself. he's been studying like crazy and i'm really proud of him.

overall, things are busy and not really any fun pictures to post.

but here's what i have. a pic of the berry cobbler i made from scratch last night. it turned out so good. i wanted to take a picture when it looked all pretty right out of the oven (i had to redeem myself from my last cookie post), but by the time i realized it, landon had already demolished two enormous helpings.

and a random pic of us after church- so exciting!

lazy

2009-09-01T19:19:00.002-06:00

too lazy to post all the pics of our new jersey trip on here-- because my mom took tons. but i put a bunch on facebook. if you're not my friend, invite me.

wow

2009-08-28T15:26:00.008-06:00

today was quite a adventurous day.

a girl in my class attacked three other girls over bottles of new shampoo.

AND.... my brother got his mission call!! he's leaving dec 30th to serve in the Brazil Fortaleza Mission. he's going straight to the mtc in brazil and we'll miss him sooo much.

check out this place--

i vote for a family trip to pick him up!

today i tried to make cookies

2009-08-24T18:42:00.006-06:00

and this is what happened.

maybe i should have worn my apron ?can't wait until landon comes home. you better believe i'm still eating them... (or it)

i did it

2009-08-22T16:47:00.012-06:00

i don't know who was more nervous-- me or my stylist.

once i reassured her i was not going to cry or freak out, we put it in a pony tail and did the big snip. 13 1/2 inches!! i hope it makes someone very happy.

i like the way it turned out though, and surprisingly, once landon came out from hiding in the kitchen and peeking at me from around the corner, (he said i wasn't his wife) he liked it too. well, at least that's what i gathered when he started making out with me.

i do very much feel like i am wearing a wig and its strange to not feel hair on my neck. at least my annoying habit of looking at my split ends is over. i know more than one person that will be glad i can't do that anymore. but i'm extremely happy that it takes less than 10 mins (blow drying and all) to make it look cute. you can ask my coworkers, who will admit, the half wet hair bun that i normally style-- isn't my most attractive look.

everyone thinks long hair is sooo pretty and it is. but, once you've had it THAT long for over a year...(plus growing it out for 2 years before that) it starts to wear on you. i think i'll be looking more much presentable this way-- especially while working full time and getting my masters. plus, what's life without a little adventure??!?

okay, so enough of the talk. here's the big reveal.

a kind of ugly looking "before pic"... notice the half wet hair.

After. got to love landon in the background.

it doesn't have red in it. its the lighting.

i went from the longest i've ever had my hair to the shortest. it feels liberating.

gulp

2009-08-22T10:08:00.004-06:00

i'm donating my hair to locks of love.

turns out they do accept died hair. see here.

and its too late to stop me. my apt is in -3 hours.

and now i can't chicken out.

its good that i've been holding a picture of my new hair style in the mirror every night mentally preparing myself for the change.

at first when i showed landon he said, "that's disgusting". but now he only has one concern...

"if you roll over in bed to put your head on my arm, i just don't want it to be spikey. that will freak me out."

more from the classroom

2009-08-20T10:08:00.004-06:00

student: can i wear your wedding ring?
me: no
student: why?
me: because its to expensive

--

"i just sharded in my pants"

"i just started my period"

"can i wear your necklace?"

"i am the best singer in the united states"

"i wish you were our teacher all the time."

--

on a more serious note, many of you have read the blog "the nie nie dialogues". i have a link to it on the left side of my blog if you have no idea what i'm talking about. well, today i did a special focus group with my class about this remarkable couple and their adorable family. i showed pictures of them and told their story. i focused on Stephanie and her remarkable journey as it related to self determination, courage, and self worth. many of these girls really struggle with self image and self confidence. they really admired Stephanie for her courage and the remarkable beauty she has inside and out. i gave each girl a paper and had them write "10 things i love about me" and share them with the class. after that we talked about respecting others and themselves because everyone has their own unique beauty and self worth. we put Stephanie's picture up in our classroom as a reminder. next week they want to write her letters.

i hope the group had an impact. it was a neat experience. i'm so excited to be a therapist someday. i love helping these girls.

from the classroom

2009-08-17T13:26:00.007-06:00

as many of you may know, i work at a residential treatment center for teens as an administrative assistant. well, when one of the teachers left last week to have her knee replaced, guess who stepped in? .... yep, yours truly.

now this isn't your ordinary classroom. teens here are in treatment for variety of issues such as: bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, drug & alcohol abuse, self harming, oppositional defiant disorder and many more. its been interesting to say the least.

some great quotes from my teaching experience so far--

"your husband is sooo hot"

"how do i know this food isn't poisonous. don't eat the food! it will kill you."

"do you know how to teach?"

"damn my parents to hell!"

"i just bent over and a fart came out"

"this isn't burger king. you can't have it your way."

more to come. i'm in here for the next 4-6 weeks!

we're back

2009-08-10T11:02:00.002-06:00

we had a great time in new jersey. i don't have pics to post because after the first day i got lazy and decided to just let my mom take all the pics. her camera is glued to her hip, so she got everything. when i get them, i'll post them.

harley was sure happy to see us yesterday. even with a less than stellar report from the babysitter, i was happy to see him too. surely it wasn't his fault he jumped on the coffee table and ate their breakfast (twice). he was just confused in new surroundings and missed his mommy.

he was so happy when we got home he began running and rolling around everywhere. when i pulled out the shirt and squeaky balls my little sister madison bought him-- he was in doggy heaven. i had to post some pics. don't judge me.

in case you were not aware

2009-08-05T07:43:00.005-06:00

25 years ago today-- i came into the world.

i feel old, but life is good.

i'll be spending my birthday hanging behind the boat. one of my favorite things to do!

whit or whit out

2009-08-03T21:19:00.007-06:00

yes, we are in new jersey and... yes, we are having a lot of fun. we went to Philly today and had a cheesesteak. its a good thing when they said "whit or whit out wiz" i knew what they were talking about. if you're ever there... go here. if the line is out the door, its still worth it.

i do miss harley. as hard as i tried, i just couldn't justify spending $250 bones to bring him on the plane. (isn't that ridiculous?) i now look at people who bring their dogs on the airplane in a whole new light. "wow, you must love your dog... A LOT!"

speaking of harley's, i rode on the back of my dad's new one tonight. i don't know if you can get the full experience only going 50 mph, but that's all i allowed. i wish i could say i'm just getting more cautious with age... but it wouldn't be true. i'm a wimp with many things. airplanes is one. i don't have anxiety and can't really relate to people that have it-- except when i'm on a plane. i picture the plane crashing, people screaming, and me dying almost the whole take off ascending part. somehow, that's the scariest. once we're up,horizontal, and at cruising altitude i do pretty well. but taking off i think i said, "please heavenly father bless us to be safe" at least 200 times.

one perk about flying this time, we got upgraded to first class-- and i'm talking the seats that lay all the way flat into beds. its hard to care about anything when you're that comfortable. it was very very nice considering we were taking the red eye. when the pilot said, we were in a holding pattern and wouldn't be landing for 30 mins... i didn't mind one bit. i rolled back over and went to sleep.

well more updates with pics when we get back. right now, i've got to join the family playing rockband. dad's on vocals, mom's playing guitar, and madison is killer on drums.

take me out to the ball game

2009-07-27T12:31:00.003-06:00

on the 24th, we went to the St. George Road Runners baseball game. this is what we looked like- excuse our sweatiness.

the firework show after the game was pretty amazing. but, not as amazing as the fact we will be in NJ in 5 days!!! can't wait.

its annoying when

2009-07-24T11:07:00.004-06:00

you live in Utah, but your employer is just about the only one not celebrating this fantastic holiday--i'm slightly bitter and quite possibly dying of boredom.

boring blog

2009-07-20T11:18:00.009-06:00

nothing really new to blog about. we've been pretty uneventful lately.

harley is going under the knife today, though. he has to get four baby teeth pulled because they have not fallen out and his adult teeth are coming in. and since he was already going under, he is going to be neutered as well. i was sad to drop him off this morning-- i hope its not too bad. here he is last night, before the big deed. we tried to give him a pep talk... if only he could understand : )

here we are yesterday before church. really exciting...

i did some projects this weekend. one was this poster- i've seen them online for $20 (not framed, poster only) and there is a cool story behind it. click here to read. i recreated my own in illustrator and bought some inexpensive frames at the thrift store. i thought it turned out cool.

we also got a new couch-- which we were very excited about. its so nice to have more room.

i also found that candlestick at the thrift store for $5.

next week we're going to New Jersey for a week to see my family. More pics to come!

he's happy

2009-07-10T13:16:00.006-06:00

landon's parents brought landon's golf clubs from florida when we met up in arizona. he's been dying to have them out here and finally he got them. i was a little worried he'd be begging me to go golfing all the time, but we found a great deal.

sun river golf course in st. george is offering free golf if its over 100 degrees. it pretty much reaches 100 by noon everyday... so this is awesome. we went last night after work at about 5:30pm (it was still 103) and we only paid $7 for a golf cart. it was fun, landon did great, and i drove and got a tan!

i'll have to take some pics next time we go. if landon has his way, i'm sure it will be soon.

navajo nation

2009-07-10T10:39:00.024-06:00

landon's brother trevor and his wife tiffany live in snowflake, arizona with their ridiculously cute daughter to'ahani. we were able to go down and visit them this past weekend. landon's parents flew out from florida and we had a fun time celebrating trevor and sheila's (landon's mom) birthdays. here are some pics from the trip. we went over to tiffany's mom's house for some great Navajo tacos. after that, it was cake time. its a tradition in their family for the birthday person to take a bite from the corner of the cake (while others try and smash their face in it). here is a video when it was sheila's turn. trevor got in there too and tiffany pushed his face in pretty good.

trevor's cake faceto'ahani loved harley. she walked around saying "puppy, puppy" nonstop all weekend. she also really liked harley's cage.

she didn't want to share though...

the next day we had a great time at tiffany's family reunion on the reservation. we played games, ate more Navajo food, and were about the only white people there...ha.

landon and trevor participating in the three legged race. (i told them their "hop" technique was not going to work)

a cool video of tiffany's grandma singing in Navajo.

the next day we visited window rock, the capital of Navajo nation. we also got some great turquoise and coral jewelry, which i was way excited about.

some "open range" cattle on the reservation--

all in all, it was a fun weekend and way good to be with family. hope we can see them again soon!

public announcement

2009-06-29T10:09:00.004-06:00

i am very excited to announce that on Aug 22nd i will begin classes towards my Masters in Mental Health Counseling! i never, ever thought i would want to go to more school, but its amazing what a 6 month break can do. i am doing it through the University of Phoenix... but i'm excited because the classes are not online, but at the campus once a week.

working at a treatment center, has really peaked my interest in addiction, psychology, and counseling. i would love to work as a therapist at a treatment center for teens, adults or for LDS family services. my two favorite tv shows have become Intervention and Obsessed on A&E. If you haven't watched them, you need to. they are fascinating.

the program is 2 years with a 1 year internship. i'm hoping that i can finish classes and do my internship here at Red Rock before we have to move for Optometry school. wish me luck. i am so excited!

p.s. due to the above announcement, I am sadly no longer going to be able to coupon. although, spending more at the grocery store will be painful, hopefully later in life i'll have the time to pick it back up. i know... you're all breathing a sign of relief knowing that you no longer have to look at my coupon posts!